Turning the Burden of “Opposites” into Joyful Balance

As a Personality Dimensions Facilitator and Trainer, I use personal experience, self-disclosure and storytelling to help create a learning environment where people feel accepted and understood. I take particular pleasure in helping the many folks I’ve encountered who, like me, have opposites as their top 2 colours.

For much of my life, I’ve struggled to understand the constant conflicted conversation that played out in my head.  Why did I love being with people while resenting their intrusion on my private space? Why did I get such great joy in my solitary creative moments, while feeling guilty because I’m wasn’t spending time with my loved one’s? How could I feel such compassion for those less fortunate, while at the same time feeling frustrated that they weren’t coping better and pulling their lives together? Waiting patiently in a long slow line at the grocery store, while marvelling at people who hold everyone up, rifling through their bag to find their wallets. “Did you not know you were going to have to pay for this?” goes the little voice in my head. Feeling irritated at others “stupidity” while feeling bad that I could even think such a thing!

I could never explain, nor understand why this kept happening, until my first encounter with personality type (Personality Dimensions hadn’t been created yet). I typed as a Blue/Green and the facilitator quietly said “I bet you have a lot of internal dialogue going on”. The epiphany I felt was overwhelming. Blue and Green are opposites in many ways, and I had opposite needs & values pulling at me all the time! This insight led to a few more “Ah ha’s”

The next epiphany happened when I started using Personality Dimensions- I’m an Introvert!  So now my Authentic Blue not only has to cope with the Inquiring Green influence, but now has to deal with my need for alone time to re-energize and to process in my head before making decisions. “Give me a break!”

Very soon, though I began to realize that my Inquiring Green is actually my superpower. It keeps me from getting too emotionally involved when I’m dealing with conflict. It promotes objectivity and problem-solving, when everyone around me is in panic mode. It helps me process my feelings in a logical, thoughtful way.

This insight was quickly followed by the “power of the plaid”. I started reflecting on how my Resourceful Orange and my very pale Organized Gold were also contributing in a very positive way in helping me meet my Authentic Blue Core Needs.

Now, 20 years later, I am so grateful to be able to use these insights to help others see how they can use all parts of their personality to create balance in their lives and effectively meet their Core Needs

It’s particularly special when I describe my Authentic Blue/Inquiring Green inner voice and watch those with the same profile have the same epiphany that I did many years ago; or when I help those Organized Golds/Resourceful Oranges realize why they are constantly grappling with needing structure and predictability, while at the same time wanting freedom and spontaneity. Now I’m the one who gets to say “I bet you have a lot of internal dialogue going on” and watch the magic of enlightenment begin.

Sandra Loy BScN, MS Org. Psych. is a Nurse, Organizational Psychologist, Musician, Certified Level 2 Personality Dimensions® trainer/facilitator and owner of Sandra J. Winnick & Associates. She has extensive experience in delivering (and training others to present) the Personality Dimensions® model through workshops, and one-on-one coaching focused on leadership, team dynamics, communication, conflict management, stress management, dealing with difficult people, couple relations, and parenting.  Now in her 7th decade, she has found the ideal retirement gig; training and supporting facilitators to deliver this amazing tool!

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2 Responses

  1. Thank you so much for sharing this! You’ve perfectly described the blue/green conflict that goes on in my head everyday. As an RN in a very busy acute care setting, I too am so grateful for my little green voice that balances my beloved blue. I know it’s the green part of myself that ensures I don’t fall into compassion fatigue, leader guilt, and carer burnout. Now, to brighten up my ORANGE!

  2. Your facilitators may enjoy using this practical book written by one of the co-authors of Retirement Dimensions, Nell Smith and it supports people to apply the results of the RD tool to their retirement goals, plans and lifestyle design. The book is called Retire to the Life You Love. https://retiretothelifeyoulove.com/
    *full disclosure: Nell Smith is my mom and mentor

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Contact one of our Offices

Canada & World

Career/LifeSkills Resources Inc.

Hong Kong, China, & Macau

Dr. Motivate

USA

Personality4Life

Australia

Prime Performance

Australia & New Zealand

Jenny Gleeson Coaching & Consulting