Last week, Level II Trainer, Sandy Loy, guided a group of Personality Dimensions® Facilitators through an engaging and insightful workshop titled “Dealing with Difficult People,” a program built on understanding conflict through the lens of Personality Dimensions®. The session explored how stress and unmet core needs can push people toward the “faded” sides of their personalities – where once-bright traits become distorted by frustration, guilt, or self-doubt.
Rather than labelling people as “problematic,” Sandy helped attendees recognise that difficult behaviour often stems from stress, unmet needs, and eroded self-esteem. The key, she emphasised, is not to react to the surface behaviour, but to understand the motivation behind it. By learning to “brighten” others rather than battle them, participants discovered strategies to transform tension into cooperation.
The workshop drew upon the “games” described in Eve Delunas’ Survival Games Personalities Play that each of the four Personality Dimensions® fall into when feeling out of esteem:
- Inquiring Greens value knowledge and competence. Under pressure, they might withdraw or overanalyse, caught in the Robot Game of logic without empathy.
- Organized Golds seek order, structure, and belonging. When overwhelmed or unappreciated, they may slip into the Complain Game, feeling immobilised and resentful.
- Authentic Blues thrive on connection and harmony but may resort to the Masquerade Game – pretending everything’s fine to hide guilt or hurt feelings.
- Resourceful Oranges crave freedom, variety, and action. When boxed in by rigid rules, they might rebel or push back through the Blackmail Game, using defiance or humour to regain control.
Through examples and lively discussion, Sandy illustrated how these “games” are subconscious efforts to protect self-esteem. The turning point comes when we recognise the behaviour not as defiance, but as distress.
Attendees completed the “Who Pushes my Hot Buttons?” exercise from Winning Workshop Strategies, where they identified an individual who grinds their gears. Through identifying their out of esteem behaviours and taking an informed guess at their brightest colour, the group was able to see practical, real-life applications for the theory covered in the workshop or, in a nutshell, see PD in Action.
After identifying “faded” side of their examples’ personalities, the participants explored practical techniques for “brightening” each dimension – from giving Inquiring Greens space and logic, acknowledging Organized Golds’ contributions, showing validation and warmth to Authentic Blues, and offering Resourceful Oranges flexibility and challenge. Sandy stressed that the best way to influence others positively begins with self-awareness: changing how we interpret others’ behaviour, adjusting our self-talk, and setting healthy boundaries around what we will and won’t tolerate.
As my colleague, Chris, who was also in the session, put it, “I realised the person who drives me crazy at work isn’t trying to be difficult – they’re just stressed in a completely different way than I am.”
The workshop closed with a reminder that we can rarely change others – but we can change our approach. By understanding what motivates people, maintaining integrity, and knowing when to step back, we preserve both relationships and our own well-being.
Sandy’s facilitation brought warmth, humour, and practical insight to a topic everyone can relate to. The Facilitators in attendance left equipped with fresh perspectives and real tools to navigate personality clashes – seeing, as Sandy put it, “not just the conflict, but the colour behind it.”
Come the new year, Sandy will be hosting further application workshops for Personality Dimensions® Facilitators on topics such as communication, leadership, work-life balance and team building. Specific dates and registration details will be announced.
Tref Alun, MA joined the Career/LifeSkills Resources Inc. team in January 2016. Little did he know when he started, that over the years his official job title would become “Doer of All Things”. From customer service to working on new resources to technical support, Tref is always bouncing between tasks and is never doing less than three things at one time – and he wouldn’t have it any other way!
